Sunday, July 19, 2009

it is, after all, in you to give...

Can I donate blood, now that I am on these drugs? I should look into that... I have been itching to donate... for that feeling that I've done something really good for someone else I will never meet. Plus I feel a little obligated... when I was twelve I had my tonsils out... during the procedure I hemorrhaged pretty badly, and lost a lot of blood. I needed a transfusion. If someone else, who I've never met, hadn't donated blood... who knows?

For all I know, my blood might never be used... it might expire before it's needed, and get flushed away... medical waste. Or it might save a life. Several lives. I like to think that it is used... that it is really needed... that someone out there is now walking around because my blood is flowing through their veins.

It's a kind of high, the feeling of possibly changing a life... doing something really good, but thankless... does feeling good about it, and doing it for that feeling turn a selfless act into something selfish? Something sinister?

I am too cynical. I shouldn't feel guilty about getting joy from this... should I?

Or maybe it's that I am just a little off... after all, how many people think it's fun that they have possibly had a part of them touch someone else's heart... literally.

*insert rimshot here*

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