Sunday, April 18, 2010

Bad Company.

I got this on my Formspring today:

Since I have neglected you - my dear blog - for a long while now, I thought I would share my answer here, since my response felt like something I would share here anyway...

Alright... Here's a random memory:

When I was nine years old, my Mom, little brother, sister, and I went to live with my mom's friend Mandy and her family for a while.

That summer the whole lot of us went to visit people who I think were Mandy's relatives. They lived in this really cool old house that had "secret" passageways between some of the rooms, including upstairs bedrooms and the attic. Creaky wooden doors in the backs of closets led to hidden, narrow hallways behind the walls. The house had a humid, sticky feeling to it, and for some reason I remember there being lots and lots house plants around.

It was made clear that we were to stay out of the way. While the adults sat in the backyard in a circle of lawn chairs, shooting the breeze, drinking, and whatever else, all of us kids crept around upstairs, pretending we were spies on an adventure.

I remember crawling up to this window that was open just a few inches, overlooking the backyard. It was one of those old wood-framed windows, with years of white paint caked over the hardware, weighing it down. There was a can (or maybe it was a jar?) propping it open, and all I could hear was "Feel like makin' love" by Bad Company blasting out of a stereo somewhere downstairs and into the yard. The smell of weed being smoked wafted in the window, accompanied by the heavy ozone smell that summer air takes on just before a thunderstorm.

I remember looking at my mother, her head thrown back, laughing... smoke from her cigarette curling around face. She looked so happy in that instance. I remember wishing I could keep her that way... wishing I scoop her up, and put in my pocket, or hide her away in one of the secret passageways of that house. I remember feeling so sad, because I knew that I couldn't, and even at nine years old I was aware that time marches on and changes everything, no matter how much you wish it wouldn't...

I heard that song today on the radio, and I thought of my mom. In my mind it's been forever linked to her and that summer.

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